Losing 77 pounds
I came into this 12-step program for food addiction in November 2016 at 332 lbs and I now weigh 255 lbs (I’m 5’8 by the way). Life has changed drastically.
Stomach is going down
The biggest difference physically for me has been the loss of my stomach. It really gets in the way! Particularly with sleep. At 332 lbs it felt like I was sleeping on a beach ball, and I like sleeping on my side.
I feel more bliss from day to day. More mellow. I notice that I’m happier after meals and I’m more present during the day.
Before entering this program, the first part of my day was a constant feeling of hangry (hungry+angry) because I didn’t eat anything until lunch time. I’d feel angry, low and depressed. I’d be starving by lunch and then I’d want a quick fix of some sugar/flour product, so I’d go get some fast food or order from something from a restaurant. I’d feel great for about 15-30 min, then crash and wait to get hungry again and finish the day off with another big “meal” of sugar and flour.
I went on this cycle for 2 DECADES. It was always a sugar or flour product / fast food / junk food. Looking back I was starving for nutrition.
From XXXL to XL
I was trying on an XXL t-shirt and I said to myself “this is pretty big on me”. I thought it was the brand that ran a little big, but as I started trying on other shirts, I noticed the same thing. Then I realized…I had moved from what was originally a size 3XL shirt to 2XL and now I’m at an XL being “my size”.
There is so much more selection that you can have being able to fit into XL shirts, and I imagine there will be more going down to a “Large”. I can see why people like shopping now. I used to walk in the store and HATE it. It was a roll of the dice to actually find clothes that I thought looked good AND that fit me.
The Little Things
I can actually feel my hip bones! When I move my fingers I can see vanes on the back of my hands that were covered by fat before. My old clothes are huge! I feel less pressure on my ankles and knees. I can see my neck now in the mirror! I can fit in chairs easier and don’t have to worry about breaking them. Singing has gotten a lot better and more effortless because I can breathe better.
When I would sit back and listen to all the stories of the people in this 12-step program who were sharing strength, experience and hope, and the many success stories of weight loss, I would always wonder why they said that their weight loss wasn’t the biggest benefit. I definitely understand what they mean now. The biggest benefit by far has been the mental clarity I experience throughout the day.
I didn’t realize how much my mood fluctuated throughout the day. I was always on this high/low see saw every single day. It was like being stuck in a casino. Sometimes you win a lot of money! Then other times you lose a lot. You’d like to go home at some point and either cut you losses, enjoy your gains or leave how you came in, but you can’t. You can’t leave, because you can’t find the exit anywhere.
There are no more highs and lows from sugar and flour anymore and I’m more thankful for that than words can describe. It feels like a great relief to actually know how to eat and satisfy all the points where people go wrong (deprivation, dieting, restricting calories, weird diet plans, not liking the way the food tastes, etc).
My weight seems to go down 4-7 lbs each month. I imagine this time next year I’ll be in my right-size body. I also want to help people reach their right-size bodies. I want to pass on what was so graciously given to me.
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