Here is a conversation between me and my boss this past week and half (notice all my green texts are on different days). I’ve been coming in to work late because I’ve found it’s becoming harder to care and I’m losing some respect for the job. I feel like there’s some bigger things for me to do out there, so it becomes more and more difficult to do the repetitive task of putting in worker’s time sheets into a database (my job).
I talked this over with my Food Addicts sponsor.
She asked me, “Did you commit to your job that you would come in on time?”.
I replied “Yes”.
She explained, “Well if you committed to that, then you should honor that commitment. If you’re breaking promises with your job, you’re probably breaking promises in other areas of your life and giving excuses as to why you’re not doing what you committed to doing.”
She said this to me this morning and I’ve been thinking of this all day today! Thinking of all the little things I’ve committed to myself and others that haven’t gotten done. That is unacceptable to me. I realize that I have gotten into the habit of saying “yes” when I do not want to, or when it wouldn’t fit with my schedule, all for the sake of pleasing people and appearing cooperative. “No” is becoming a must if I want to be productive.
Perhaps the several jobs I’ve had have conditioned me to do this. When there is something I do not want to do I feel as though I have to say “yes” or I might be fired. The idea of being fired doesn’t bother me like it used to though now. I truly feel as though I have the support of the universe behind me, so whatever happens I feel it will be OK. I’m getting used to trusting the universe.
As weird as this may sound I’m very thankful for this job (that I’m caring less about lol) . They pay me more than I’ve ever made, and the people that work there are great people. They provided me with structure that I wasn’t willing to provide for myself and they handle all the marketing and sales. Lately, I’ve actually been thankful that I didn’t get all the money and freedom I wanted sooner. If I had gotten everything I asked for earlier I might have eaten myself out of here!
I want to practice radical honesty and integrity in all that I do. When I say something, I mean it. This means scaling back some commitments or dropping them altogether and getting used to saying “no” in order to focus on the things I do want to do.
Are there promises you’re breaking? When you commit to getting something done, do you do it? Are there excuses that follow your broken commitments? Are you aware of what this does to people’s trust in you? Do you trust yourself?